Wanted

Overheard: They don’t want superstars because they can’t afford it.

Where it took me: The people I overheard were talking about a company’s hiring practices. I wondered what kind of ad they might write to get the kind of person they could afford.

The poem

Wanted

Mediocre sales person.

Must be able to converse about weather,

children, and the last time

a given sports team won its

highest honour.

Must have a favourite colour.

Outside interests should be minimal:

said sports teams, mystery novels,

travel within Zone 1 of a typical

credit card loyalty program.

Should not paint (houses are okay),

read poetry,

listen to indie music,

eat kale or quinoa.

Must be likeable.

But not too likeable.

Fashion sense may run

from the late 1990s to the mid-2000s.

May speak any foreign language

taught in the local school board

or that reflects personal heritage.

Avid television watcher preferred.